


behind locked doors

by mango_ice_cream



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Author is a Clay | Dream Apologist (Video Blogging RPF), Blood and Injury, Clay | Dream Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Demon Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Ghost Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Ghost Wilbur Soot, Guilt, Hurt Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Parent Cara | CaptainPuffy, Platonic Relationships, Prisoner Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), most characters are only briefly mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29663031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mango_ice_cream/pseuds/mango_ice_cream
Summary: dream's been stuck in his cell for god knows how long. Nightmare left a few weeks ago and he feels more and more empty every day. he doesn't even know why he's in here, he just woke up on the cold obsidian floor, with no looming presence of a demon in the back of his head. he knew he had done shitty stuff, but he never expected to be locked in a small obsidian cell in isolation. guess that's what you get for letting a demon control you for almost a whole year, huh?--where the author is a dream apologist but can only go along with it if he was possessed.
Relationships: Cara | CaptainPuffy & Clay | Dream, Clay | Dream & Darryl Noveschosch, Clay | Dream & Dream SMP Ensemble, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Darryl Noveschosch & Sapnap, Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 562





	1. I Can't Remember Who I Was Just Last December

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [All I'm Good For (Prisoner Dream oneshot)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29166510) by [NerdyBoiYeet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyBoiYeet/pseuds/NerdyBoiYeet). 



> most events caused by dream in the canon were caused by nightmare for the sake of the story

_One week ago…_

Dream opened his eyes, blinking away the glaring light from the lava curtain. He looked around the small obsidian cell. 

_Where am I?_ He asked, and to his surprise, no low voice in the back of his head replied. Nightmare was gone. Dream was alone in a cell that he didn’t even deserve to be in. _maybe he does,_ a dark part of his brain whispered. He does deserve this, he decided. He was weak enough to let the dreamon into his head. He deserves to sit alone and rot. He’s a monster, after all.

_Monstermonstermonstermonstermonstermonster_

Yeah, he was a monster.

-

Present-day

Dream was lying on the cold obsidian floor staring at the ceiling, watching the crying obsidian drip, and listening to the clock on the wall tick as time went by. He looked up at the sound of the pistons and mechanisms going off. He assumed it was the food, but instead three people walked through the lava curtain. _People._ At least that’s what he assumes they are. He hasn’t had any hallucinations yet, so maybe this is the first? As they walked closer, he saw it was Tommy, wilbu- ghostbur, and sam.

“Hello dream” Tommy was the first to speak.

“Hi, Tommy” dream replied almost apprehensively.

“Suprised to see us?” 

“Yes,” dream replied honestly, almost earning a snort from the teenager.

“I guess I haven’t visited in a while, have I?” Tommy asked thinking back,

Dream didn’t remember Tommy visiting but didn’t ask, assuming he probably visited when nightmare was still in control. _God, how much damage did he do? How much damage did I do?_

“Look, enough catching up. We need something from you” Tommy said, face turning serious

“What do you need?” dream asked, curious as to why Tommy was asking for stuff from _him_ of all people

Tommy looked expectantly at ghostbur, who had his head down. Tommy gave the ghost a little nudge with his elbow, almost as to say “it’s your turn to speak”. Ghostbur mumbled something under his breath

“What was that?” dream asked

“I want friend back,” ghostbur said, louder so that the prisoner could hear him this time.

“Friend?” dream asked, not knowing what the ghost was talking about

“Friend, my sheep” ghostbur reiterated 

“You want me to bring back your sheep?” dream said in confusion

“God, what don’t you get, you prick?” Tommy asked, getting frustrated that dream wasn’t getting what they wanted

“Let me get this straight, you need me to bring back a dead sheep for you? Why don’t you just get a new sheep?” dream asked, bewildered by the odd request

“Because the sheep was special, alright? Are you gonna do it or not?” Tommy asked, even more annoyed 

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?” dream said with a sigh,

He went over to the chest of books he was given in the corner of the cell and pulled one out. He pulled a pen off of the lectern as well and began writing. He was aware of the pairs of eyes watching him, but he didn't care. About halfway through the first page, he felt this searing pain all over his body. He knew what using his admin powers did, that’s why he never used them. He just ignored it and kept writing, he had to do this. He can’t let them down more. 

About halfway through the book, he felt something dripping down from his nose. He wiped it away with the sleeve of his hoodie, the blood staining it a dark shade of brown. He looked up to see the other people in the cell looking at him in _concern_. Why would they be concerned about him? He shook away the thoughts and continued writing. Once he was done, the cuff of his sleeve was completely covered in blood from his nose and he barely had any energy left. He got up and wobbled over to the others, handing them the book with shaky hands. Tommy took it and looked at him questioningly. He just shook him off and looked at ghostbur, who had a clear look of concern on his face. Dream just smiled weakly at him, though the attempt was very unconvincing. Finally, his eyes landed on sam, who had an indifferent expression on his face, though dream could see a hint of concern in his eyes. Dream walked back to the wall and sat down, exhaustion seeping into his bones.

He closed his eyes and could hear the others leaving. 

_That sure was fun._ Dream thought to himself. As he was pulled into darkness, he thought about how if that book works, they’ll be here asking for more stuff. _At least I’ll get visitors,_ he thought disregarding the fact that if they ask too much of him, he’ll die. _I’ll get visitors_ he thought before finally being pulled into darkness.

[817 words]  
  
  



	2. the book of you and I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dream continues to suffer in silence while the rest of the SMP demands more of him. and for the first time since nightmare left, he gets a surprise visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from The Book of You and I by alec benjamin
> 
> (most chapter titles will be alec benjamin songs)

A few weeks (days dream didn’t know) passed and every other day someone would come in and ask for dream to revive their dead pets or spawn in items. Spawning in items was less painful than revivals, but it would drain his energy. Sam put in an automatic food dispenser, so now dream only sees him when others “visit”. He gets a lot of visits now. None real ones of course, but he knew that would happen. He was just glad to have _some_ human interaction. 

Dream was woken up to the whirring of Redstone and pistons, meaning someone was coming to “visit”. _Yay,_ dream thought to himself.

Surprisingly, it wasn't any of the usual people who came for things, those people being Tommy, Quackity, Tubbo, etc. It was _George and Sapnap. What are they doing here? They probably want something, idiot._ He thought to himself before someone spoke. 

“Hello dream,” sapnap said, standing tall, almost like he was convincing himself to be here. 

“hi, pandas, ” dream muttered tiredly 

“Don't call me that. You don't deserve to call me that” sapnap responded in a stern, almost angry tone

Dream was about to ask why but remembered all the horrible things nightmare did. _He's right. I don't deserve to call him that._

“Right, sorry” dream muttered again, almost sad 

Sapnap scoffed, “ that's a first, dream being sorry, ” he said, anger and hatred in his eyes.

Dream didn't have a response for him, resorting to just putting his head down and looking at the floor.

 _You don't get to be sad. You did this to them._ A dark part of himself whispered, and he believed them. _He did deserve this. He caused all their misery. All their pain. This is a fair punishment._

“Dream? Are you listening to me? Who am I kidding, of course, you’re not listening to me. You never do.” he said harshly. Dream flinched at the snide comment.

“Sapnap, that’s enough,” George said, finally joining the conversation.

“No, George he needs to know that I don’t feel bad for locking him in here. He needs to know that he deserves this for all the pain he caused us” sapnap said, his voice slowly rising as he spoke.

Dream didn’t respond. How could he? They wouldn’t believe him if they told him what happened, so why bother? Why would he try and prove that he’s not a monster when they all know he is? 

That’s when dream blanked out. He doesn’t know when they left, or what happened, but he was used to not remembering things due to nightmare randomly taking over sometimes. A small part of him thought nightmare did take over, but he pushed that thought away. Nightmare is gone. He’s been gone. Another small, dark part of his mind _wanted_ nightmare back. Maybe then he would have an excuse for not being able to talk to his “friends”. He didn’t even know what to call them at this point. “Enemies” is probably the best title right now, considering the “conversation” they just had, if you can even call it that. Before he knew it, dream was falling asleep again, instead this time he didn’t think of anything before he let the darkness consume him.

  
  
  
[540 words]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry abt the short chapter but I wrote like half of this school lol. I also don't think it's my best writing, but I'll try more for future chapters. (I'll also try to update daily but I have missing work that I have to work on so I right not get to that)


	3. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> as Dream's mental and physical health declines, he can't think of anything other than pain, since it's all he feels. he doesn't care though, he deserves more. so he causes himself more pain. cause he deserves it. too bad somebody came when he was in the middle of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains self-harm and suicidal thoughts. if these can trigger you please don't continue reading.

It had been a couple of days since the whole thing with sapnap happened and dream hasn’t had any ‘visitors’ since. He wants to think that they’re fine without him and that’s why they haven’t needed him, but he has this gut feeling that George or sapnap told them what happened a few days ago. He’s thought about that a lot the past few days. Thought about the angry look in sapnap eyes when he was talking, the fact that George didn’t say anything to him the entire time, or the fact he destroyed his friendships without even talking.

_ God, he’s a horrible person _

Dream looked across the dark, cold cell, his eyes landing on the disregarded porcelain mask in the corner. He had taken it off a few weeks ago, due to feeling suffocated and like he was in the backseat again. He didn’t like that feeling, but at the same time, nightmare’s constant presence became somewhat comforting as time went on. Some nights dream would wake up and wait for nightmare to start saying snide comments to keep him up longer but was met with silence. The silence was comfortable at first but after a couple of days, there was nothing that he could hear other than his thoughts. That and the bubbling of the lava or the dripping of crying obsidian. Most of the time his thoughts drowned both of them out though, which was exactly the problem.

Dream’s thoughts were strange. Some were sad, like when he would think about his old friends and family. Some were angry, not at his friends and family, but at himself. Mad that he let it go so far, mad that he let himself be possessed, and mad that he didn’t fight against it more. 

He walked over to the other side of the cell, picking up the white mask. It was stained with blood and dirt, after not being cleaned and collecting dust in the corner of the cell for two weeks. He ran his fingers over the edge, feeling the smooth cold porcelain against his fingertips. He raised both of his arms up above his head and threw the mask onto the floor, making it break into pieces that scattered across the floor. 

He bent down and picked up one of the larger pieces, examining it closely. He pressed it against his fingertips, making it draw blood. He winced at the stinging pain it left but he went silent as he watched the scarlet blood trickle down his finger. He took the piece of porcelain and placed it on his wrist, and with one swift swipe, there was a large but shallow gash on where the porcelain was. He felt the pain, but he didn’t feel like it was bad. No, it was good, it helped him feel. Helped him know he’s not an emotionless monster that doesn’t feel pain. 

He lined up the piece of porcelain on his wrist again, this time under the previous cut, and he swiped. And he didn’t stop.

  
  


\-------

  
  


Puffy was outside the prison, waiting for sam to give her the all-clear to go in. she saw the warden walking toward her and nodding his head. She stepped on the platform and it started slowly moving. If she was being honest, she was nervous to see dream. She hasn’t visited him in prison yet and she can’t imagine what he’s gone through in the conditions of the prison. As she walks through the curtain of lava, she's met with the overwhelming stench of blood. _ Oh god.  _ She walked further into the cell, the copper smell becoming stronger as she came to the source. It was dream, and he was leaning against the wall, a piece of what she thinks is white porcelain in his hand but she doesn’t know with all the blood. Her eyes trailed up his arm before landing on the source of the blood. His whole arm was covered in cuts. Self-inflicted ones. Puffy wanted to puke. 

“...Dream?” she asked cautiously, careful not to startle him. 

"Puffy?"


	4. he just wasn't stable all alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> puffy talks with dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter still contains self-harm. though it isn't graphic, there are mentions of blood and talk of it. please skip or stop reading if this is triggering to you.

“Puffy? What are you doing here? Oh god, this is a hallucination, isn’t it? Go away.” dream murmured, almost like he was annoyed.

“Hallucination? No, Dream it’s me. It’s puffy.” puffy said back, eyeing the piece of porcelain still in his hand.

“Puffy? You’re actually here?” dream asked, and a piece of puffy broke.  _ He actually thought I wouldn’t visit him.  _

“Yeah dream, I’m actually here. I’m here to see you, so could you put that down?” puffy asked, referring to the bloodied shard in his hand. 

Dream looked down at his hand and reluctantly gave it to her. She almost let it slip, the blood making her hand slick. She decided to put it down but kept eye contact with him as she did so, so he knew not to reach for it again. After she put it down, she slowly walked over and embraced hi9m. He didn’t resist, but he doesn’t accept it. She could feel him straighten slightly at the contact but he eased into it eventually. 

-

Dream felt warm in her arms. Not the kind of warmth the lava provided, though. Warmth like if he was let go he would break down. Warmth like he was safe in her arms. Like nothing could touch him right now. He didn’t realize he was crying until he felt something drip down his cheek. Apparently puffy felt something wet on her shoulder too, because she pulled away from the embrace and looked at him. Really looked at him. _ He looks awful. _ She wiped the tears off his face, her fingertips feeling the jagged scars on his face. Some were new, she realized. Not recent, but were newly acquired since she last saw him before he went to prison. 

“Oh, duckling what happened?” puffy asked with concern, her hands holding his.

That’s when dream broke. He let all the pain and sadness out, collapsing into her arms, painful sobs escaping.

She just held him as he cried, rubbing circles and murmuring comforting words. He calmed down soon after, pulling away and wiping his face before taking a few deep breaths. 

“Do you want to talk about it? You don’t have to, but I think you’ll feel better.” puffy said breaking the silence between them.

“They hate me. All of them. They all hate me and I barely remember why. I can’t even ask them either, because they’ll think I’m lying,” he didn’t sound annoyed, he sounded sad that they didn’t believe him. 

“What do you mean you barely remember?” she didn’t sound accusing, she sounded concerned like she didn’t want him in here if he didn’t do it. She seemed like she’d believe him.

“I don’t remember much from the last few months,” he said, feeling like he got a huge weight off of his chest. 

Puffy was about to respond but they were both interrupted by the whirring of the Redstone and someone walking in. it was sam. They were about to ask what he was doing there when more people came in. actually all of them came in, like tubbo, Tomm, even ghostbur and Schlatt 

“What’s going on?” dream asked the crowd

“You’re going to bring back Schlatt and Wilbur,” Tommy said stepping out in front of the crowd to face dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is bad but dun dun dun cliffhanger
> 
> (also schlatt being revived is just for the sake of the story so yea)


	5. Don't cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's going down 
> 
> (I'm yellin timberrr)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I understand that some of you are confused why I would bring back Wilbur and Schlatt, ill try my best to explain in this short note. I wanted to help dream get more character development/to get an opportunity to face the whole SMP. I won't get really into the resurrection itself. instead, I'll be focusing on dream. also, I can't really explain why the SMP wants both of them back, they just do. hope that makes sense :)

“What?” puffy asked, shocked that they wanted dream to bring them both to life.

“You heard me. He’s gonna bring them back for us,” Tommy said sternly.

“You can’t actually expect him to do that. He won’t survive that,” puffy defended, her voice level but angry

“Puffy. Let it go,” dream murmured from behind her, his sight planted on the floor 

“No, dream. They’re trying to risk your life to bring back theirs! That’s not ok.” puffy said, desperately trying to reason with dream 

“puffy, it’s ok. I’ll be fine. Could I get something for this though?” dream said waving towards his still-bloody arms.

For the first time since they arrived, the others noticed dream’s appearance. His classic bright green hoodie was stained a dark with blood, and it hung loosely around his now thin frame. His eyes were duller than their normal bright green and had bags under them. 

Sam sam was the one that stepped forward, being the only one whose head was clear enough to comprehend the question. He handed dream a potion, and dream nodded his head to say thanks. Dream downed the potion, almost gagging at the foul taste of the liquid. He felt the tingling feeling on his arm as his wounds healed. After his wounds were completely healed, he walked over to the cauldron of water in the corner of the cell and stuck his arm in, rinsing away the blood and tinting the clear crystal water red. 

When he turned back around, he saw everyone’s eyes looking expectantly at him. Dream almost forgot the whole reason they were there in the first place.  _ This is gonna be painful  _ he thought to himself, fear slowly clawing its way into his mind. He walked over to the chest in the corner, opening it up, and see two leather cover books sitting at the bottom of it. He grabbed them both and closed the chest, he could see the others looking at him in the corner of his eye, but he didn’t pay any attention to them. He grabbed his pen and sat down on the floor, crossing his legs like an innocent child about to learn something in school. He opened one of the books and started writing, feeling the usual searing pain almost immediately after he wrote the first sentence.  _ This is gonna be fun, _ dream thought as he continued to write, ignoring the cramping in his hands and the pounding of his head. He felt the usual nosebleed coming on, feeling kind of annoyed at the inconvenience it caused. He rolled his eyes, immediately regretting it, due to the fact it made his head hurt even more, and wiped his nose, not even looking at his sleeve. He knew what was there. It always happened, so he shouldn’t be too concerned. 

He finished the first book in record time, his nose still steadily bleeding as he finished the last sentence and it started glowing the usual beautiful iridescent glow it always had. He got up and walked on his shaky legs over to ghostbur, handing him the glowing book. He looked around to the still-silent crowd before locking eyes with puffy. Her eyes were filled with concern and worry as she looked at dream’s weak form. He gave her a weak smile before turning around and sitting down on the floor. He grabbed the second book, opening the leather cover to the first page, and started writing. Once again, he was met with the searing pain that he felt every time he started writing. When he finished, he stood up, swaying in place, and walked over to where Schlatt was standing and handed him the book, Schlatt hesitantly grabbed it, and dream turned to face the group. 

“I need to be the one to bring them back” dream said his voice raspy and weak due to all his energy being drained 

“What do you mean?” Tommy asked, obviously not trusting what dream was saying

“I have to be the one that brings them back. And I can’t bring them back in here,” dream said as he gestured around at the cell

“ you’re just saying that to get out. It’s not working” Tommy said, an annoyed look on his face

“I’m not, but if you want to risk it, be my guest” dream said in return, his face expressionless 

“Fine, but if you try anything, don’t think I won’t take your last life,” Tommy said, eyes narrowed

Tommy turned to sam and nodded, and the warden nodded back. As he started to approach dream, he pulled out a pair of handcuffs and indeed his head, signaling to dream to hold his hands out. Dream held his hands out and felt the cold metal against his hands. After the handcuffs were locked, the whole group silently walked over to the platform. The lava curtain slowly started retreating, and dream could finally see past it. It wasn’t much, but it was more than he’s seen in months. After a few seconds, they reached the end of the trip and they all got off the platform. Dream saw the large doors that were separating the prison from the outside world.  _ It’s probably going to be bright _ he thought to himself before walking through the doors into the outside world for the first time in months.

  
  



End file.
